A Bit Of Honey
a snapshot, a bit of honey, a bit of goodness found, a bit of looking back, a bit of reading, and a bite to eat
I feel a twinge of guilt when I tell you that in NC today, it’s a cool 81 degrees out with zero humidity. We even have a breeze. I’m on the back deck with the dogs who’ve been freshly de-shedded and the cat who, although put up a fight, had her coat brushed. Have I told you we have two golden retrievers of the English Cream variety who shed so much I truly want to ruin their cuteness with two good shaves? Because I do and I really, really do.
The four girls are also home. They’re upstairs having a “productivity day” and creating a vlog of all their productivity. Last week, they spent one whole night in the room they call The Sleepover room1 and decided to go around the circle and tell one another what they dislike about each other. Using their limited enneagram knowledge, they all sorta worked with the question: Can I give you some helpful feedback? and then preceded to make a verbal list. The goal, of course, is a future glow-up for all parties involved. No one cried but no one is walking around all glowed up yet either.
All the men of the house are working. Isaac is at camp, Josiah is at Rocky Mount Engine Plant running conduit (he worked 80 hours last week!) and Thad is somewhere in Raleigh developing the business…whatever that means. The point is this: all the girls are eating snacks and feeling their feelings and all the men are sweating it out in the field somewhere making the donuts to keep on keeping their women. And yes, even our pets are female.
I’m not sure why I told you any of that except it’s an exact snapshot of July 2, 2024 at 1:59 pm and I want to remember it. It’s been a weird, full to the brim, nothingness summer. You know what I mean?
A long, long time ago, I used to take random, not fully fleshed out thoughts and then list them over on Instagram. These lists were usually five bullet points long and seemed to carry a theme: truths, questions, feelings, etc. I’m feeling the itch to begin that practice again because it forces me pause and take note, pause and reflect, and pause and share my everyday life in formation.
The 5 Things were never meant to stand alone as fully expressed thoughts; they were always meant to be just a practice of writing down the things that were bubbling up within me. Like notes that I may want to come back to.
Anyway, here’s me beginning again. I’m calling these posts A Bit of Honey because each thing I share is just that.
A Bit of Honey
five things I’m pondering
I’ve been praying for discernment around a particular thing for a good long while. I’ve railed at the heavens, begging God for an answer. Two weeks ago, I felt God tell me He’d already given me the answer. You know the answer, Lori. You’re not really asking for an answer. You are wrestling with obedience. Do you not trust that I am good and I have a good, good plan for your life?
There are some things that I cannot say no to. I may hem and haw and talk my way out of doing the thing, but without fail, I will come back to the thing I said I would not do and pose one question to myself: But what if I did? And here’s what I know—The question But what if I did? speaks to a true desire of my soul.
No matter where I go, God is there.
I’ve called the last 12 years The Great Wrecking, but I think the last 12 years have actually been The Great Healing. The evidence of this truth is found in that singular statement.
I am being formed into the image of Christ for the sake of others. Am I willing to walk the way of Christ, even through the valley of shame, for the sake of others?
A Bit of Looking Back
Facebook reminded me I wrote some words on July 2, 2018 and July 2, 2021. I found them pertinent to the season of life in God I find myself today. Maybe they’ll resonate with you today, too.
July 2, 2018: Currently letting the babe shuck corn at Lidl and being reminded that setting my intentions on Christ WHILE giving myself permission to keep wholeheartedly showing up to every little death that wounds the entirety of my body only enriches the soil of my soul in order that my life yield more fruit.
So friends, if you allow yourself time to simply be still, all the hidden feelings and tucked away thoughts and deep needs and secret insecurities and quiet fears that you thought you'd laid to rest will suddenly be resurrected to such a degree that you will find yourself wanting to escape.
But you won't.
You'll lean into the painful resurrection happening inside your soul and put words to your wounds and name your fears and slay the shame and tell the whole truth.
And for a little while, you will walk around broken and bruised and raw because all of this will get worse before it gets better.
And this is going to feel just like dying.
Because this is a death,
That births new life.
But it's still like dying.
And it's okay to feel all the feelings that come with death. Jesus did.
July 2, 2021: Every time I’ve begged God
For vengeance,
For a reckoning,
For a slight nod that I was right,
For some acknowledgment that I alone had
His favor,
His ear,
His endorsement,
He has faithfully given me deep, deep
Remorse
Repentance
Conviction.
Every. Single. Time.
A Bit of Goodness Found
Tresta Payne, Sharifa Stevens, Karen Milioto, Shawn Smucker, and Jen Pollock Michel have recently written posts that struck something deep within me. Maybe you too?
If you’ve got an hour, take a listen to this conversation about desire with AJ Swoboda, Luke Burgis, and Jen Pollock Michel. Use the Passcode mDID@4=$ . My takeaway? Community helps us discover what we desire.
Looking for a way to enter into the presence of God and still use social media? Summer Joy Gross and Sue Fulmore are #GatheringJoy during the month of July and we’re invited to join them! You can find all the details over on Summer’s Instagram.
A Bit of Reading
The women of our church are reading this book. I’m only a few chapters in but I’ve read enough to recommend it. Thoughtful and thought-provoking.
Also re-reading this book super slowly. It’s so good.
A Bite to Eat
Got a bumper crop of tomatoes? Tired of BLTs? Too hot to preserve them? This recipe is for you. I’ve taken the best parts of lots of chilled tomato soup recipes and come up with my favorite. I use Cherokee Purple Tomatoes because it creates the most beautiful color soup.
Heirloom Tomato and Peach Soup
2 1/2 pounds of heirloom tomatoes
2 peaches, peeled and pitted
1 jalapeno, only half the seeds
2 cloves of garlic
2 TBSP of seasoned rice wine vinegar
1/2 tsp of salt (or more)
Fresh cracked black pepper
Garnish:
Mini cucumber, diced small
2 TBSP of minced purple onion
1/2 cup fresh corn
1 peach, peeled and diced
Fresh basil, chopped, about 1 TBSP
Salt to taste
Olive oil to drizzle
Blend all soup ingredients in a blender. Strain through a fine mesh and then chill. Mix together the cucumber, onion, peach, corn, basil and salt. Serve the chilled soup in four bowls, add the garnish to each bowl, and then drizzle a bit of olive oil. Add more salt and cracked pepper as needed. Chili flakes add a bit of zing that I like! Recipe yields about a quart and tastes better after a full day in the fridge.
One last note- Thank you for the way you received by last Substack post. Grace upon grace. Your kindness in bearing witness has pushed back the dark.
xoxo-
Me
They had originally named their new/old room The Orphanage because of the four twin beds with matching sheets and quilts all lined up in a row. Since everyone is home again, they’ve decided to all move into together. They’ve since renamed the room The Sleepover Room because, well, The Orphanage is just terrible in every way. Besides, they have yet to work around the house and sing It’s A Hard Knock Life.