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volume 4: Glass Noodle Salad with Shrimp

I bought my first pair of Spanx today. I obviously feel some feels about this.

I also feel some feels about the size of Spanx I had to buy. I picked up one size and took them to the register, and Viola, the sweet lady working at Macy’s looked at my Spanx and then looked at me.

What dress are you planning to wear with these Spanx? she asked.

It’s a flowy one. Semi fitted up top and then flowy on the bottom. I said.

What day are you planning to wear the dress and the Spanx? she asked.

Saturday. I said.

You know, you could try them on. she said. So you don’t have to bring them back before Saturday.

I’m sorta lazy and it’s hot. I’ll just take them home. I said.

She paused, took off her glasses, and smiled.

You know, Shug, I like to size up in these so I can breathe. Don’t you want to breathe? she asked.

And this is how I bought an XL pair of Spanx to go with my size S Madewell dress.

Sizes are dumb. I am not a small. I am not an XL. But today, both sizes fit.

It’s hard being a girl, you know? I h…